According to scientific studies, our brain never shuts off. When you are in REM sleep, you have vivid experiences and when awoken from them, can recall at least some of it. But even in slow-wave sleep, when awoken, people in studies were able to describe what they were just thinking about.

When I woke up this morning, I caught the end of a seemingly large discussion about marketing online - a topic I had read a lot about in the past few weeks, and seriously started working on yesterday. This wasn’t a dream, but a complex back and forth discussion - I heard the words.

One of the theories about sleep is that it lets our brain sort out our memories. It is very common to have a dream about things that happened that day. Often, people wake up and are clear about a decision they have to make. I am sure you have heard of the recommendation to “to sleep on it” regarding a tough decision. Your brain thinks about things - and comes to a decision on them - while you sleep. Generally, it is a feeling that pushes towards or away from a certain choice.

If you ever wonder where your emotional preferences come from, it may come from decisions made while you sleep. It is scary that some of our behavior is decided while we sleep - but also very helpful - because we can “pre-program” our brain about what to think about, and how to do it.

Our brain processes what we have seen or thought about during the day, especially things that hit us emotionally. If you read or hear the news about financial difficulty, deaths, silly celebrities, or get caught up in a fight with someone - then your brain will keep thinking about them at night. It will pull you in that direction. If you think about things that bother you - and your brain keeps thinking about them - you can wake up very depressed, and not even know why.

On a computer, the rule is that garbage in, garbage out - the computer returns the same kind of information that you put in, it is unable to improve the quality. The same with our brain - if you put in news about tragedies, then you get tragedy. If you put in problems, then you wake up worried. However, if you put in tear-filled tehillim to Hashem (Psalms to G-D), then you get out a closer connection to Hashem. If you ask yourself how to solve a problem, you may wake up with the answer.

Your brain tends to focus on the most recent, most lasting, most emotional memories - they get “extra processing time”. Choose what you put your attention on - especially right before going to sleep.

Review a Torah or mussar (spiritual growth) concept that speaks to you right before you go to sleep and you may wake up a new person!Similar Posts:

• Stretch before and after sleeping
• Sleep on it – Every Night!
• 3 Critical Steps To Pursuing Growth
• Sleep Hack: Repeat "Sleep"
• Learning Can Be Easier Than You Thought - And Fun!
• Associations, the basis of all memory

If you don’t see a play button, click here.Similar Posts:

• Podcast #3: Stress - Why It’s SO Bad and How to Prevent It
• Podcast #8: Are Goals Really Important? How Do I Set Them?
• Podcast #9: Outcome Focus
• Podcast #5 - Mindmapping… Like a Map of My Mind…?
• Four Benefits from Scheduling Play Time
• Podcast #7: To-Do lists - Love or Hate, Here’s How to Make Them

In R’ Pliskin’s book Enthusiasm, he mentioned one reason to be enthusiastic is because it is contagious. I got a real kick out of the idea of being enthusiastic for others, and I was more enthusiastic for many days. That was about 3 months ago - I haven’t thought about that idea since. It doesn’t really take me any effort. There is no planning. But I have to remember, or the idea doesn’t help me.

It takes time and effort to choose a goal, such as not speaking lashon harah (true slander).

Next you have to figure out how. If you know the halachos, then don’t say it. You may think of some awkward situations that will come up - so determine a “cover story” now, and visualize to practice it, so that you won’t feel weird using it.

Ultimately, it comes down to noticing yourself and remembering your goal to not say lashon harah. If you don’t notice it, all the discipline in the world won’t help you.

People may try something like checking what you said after each conversation, or wearing your watch on a different arm. Another way to sensitize yourself is by reading a chapter of Guard Your Tongue or The Power of Words from R’ Pliskin each day. (Even if you already read it - the point isn’t the material. But a new book would be better.) But often, we forget or stop being reminded.

What you need to do is remind yourself and actually connect with it, every day. I have 10 post it notes in front of my computer, where I sit and work. They have inspiring messages or ideas that I am currently focusing on. Every week or so, I pull off or consolidate some old ones. But truthfully, I don’t pay attention to them most of the time. I definitely see them, but I never NOTICE them. It might help some people to put post it notes around their work or home, to remind them of what to focus on, but it just doesn’t seem to work for me. My attention is too focused on other things to really notice.

What does help me is making it a habit - a set time or point in your schedule - to actually NOTICE and CARE about my goals. If you don’t care about your goal, then - who cares?! If it doesn’t matter to you, then how are you going to convince yourself to put in the effort? What you need to do is CARE, every day about your goals and what you are trying to achieve. “Because lashon harah is something I should stop saying” doesn’t usually cut it. “Because I lose all my olam habah each time I speak any lashon harah” sounds more helpful. But even as I write those words, it doesn’t emotionally hit me. Stopping for a moment and visualizing all the mitzvos from the day - all the brachos, the learning torah, the kind deeds being deposited in your bank account (ka-ching! ka-ching!! ka-ching!!!) And then saying a few true words and - “POOF!” All gone! The words don’t help - but actually visualizing that gets to me. If you don’t actually CARE about your goal - and keep NOTICING and emotionally feel it, you will be neglecting a major motivational force. Ultimately, you will just forget.

Make it a HABIT to CARE each night about your goal before sleep and/or each morning, or some other set time. Reading isn’t enough - you have to connect emotionally with it. I find the morning and night is easiest because you can actually pause and think. In the afternoon, with the craziness of the day it’s much harder to stop. The most important part is that it becomes a habit. If you stop doing it after two days, the best reasons to care won’t help you at all! One idea is to put it a notebook on top of your pillow. Don’t go to sleep until you have actively cared about your goals. Another is a powerpoint slideshow - with pictures and phrases that speak to you- that you watch at the start of your day/workday and at the end. Instead of letting media brainwash you with cute (or gruesome) pictures, brainwash yourself. (Is it still called brainwashing if you do it to yourself? Sounds more like taking control of your life.)

We aren’t supposed to be robots - ivdu es Hashem bisimcha - serve Hashem with joy. We are supposed to relate to Hashem as our Father - we should have ahavas Hashem - love Hashem. Your emotions are an integral part of your life as a Jew. Consider a servant who grudgingly serves his master, and one who jumps up energetically out of love (or fear). Which one does a better job? Connect to the emotions and let them drive you to grow!

How are you trying to grow? Why do you care? Reconnect, emotionally, every day!Similar Posts:

• You Only Need Discipline When You Have A Choice
• How to use visualizations to remember anything
• Associations, the basis of all memory
• Not All Goals Take Time
• Growth While You Sleep!
• Stepping Back - Living Your Values

We all have things we want to do, and things that we want to change. We decide to get to sleep earlier, or to work on some project, but we keep procrastinating or never feel like taking action. Or we try and try, and make some progress, but it doesn’t seem to last.

There can be many causes, but a major obstacle is your beliefs about yourself and the world - beliefs such as “but I can’t go to sleep early because there is too much to handle” or “that project is just SO much work!” “But I have never done that before!”

These beliefs are a huge obstacle between you and what your goals. Usually, they are exaggerations or blatantly false! Some beliefs may not be false, but are unhelpful - not having done something before doesn’t mean you can’t do it now!

To achieve your goal, drop these beliefs. Often they are below your conscious awareness- you may never have actually spoken them before. Once you recognize a belief, you can let it go or install an opposite empowering belief. Don’t believe every negative thing you tell yourself - argue on them!

So how do you find these beliefs? Find a quiet place. Just say softly (or even with some doubt) - “I intend to go to sleep earlier”. Now listen. What comes to mind? What are you telling yourself? Usually, an inevitable “but…” comes to mind. Listen for it - invite it! We aren’t looking for discouragement - we are looking for what has been holding us back! Keep saying what you are trying to change or do. There may be many beliefs that come to mind, some rather minor. When a real reason comes, you will know. Evaluate the beliefs. Do they help you? Are they true? If you try to drop the belief, but feel you can’t - ask yourself why. You may find a whole chain of unhelpful beliefs. Drop those too!

Our limits are largely self-imposed. Your brain doesn’t know you can’t do something until you tell it. Find the unhelpful beliefs. Drop them!

What goals have you been struggling to accomplish? Say your goal. Just listen for why it hasn’t worked, and decide to let it go.Similar Posts:

• The power of asking "What’s the next action?"!
• Essential Habit: Finish Things
• Everyone Is a Manager And a Leader!
• Why Your Rosh Hashanah Kabbalos Haven’t Worked (And How to Fix Them)
• Do You Know YOUR Potential? Or, Why You Shouldn’t Try To Be Moshe
• Finding More Time, Part 1: Eliminating Activities

Most people just react or do what they have to do, like a robot. It is just monotony. However, helping a client because that is your job, and helping a client because you care for them are worlds apart!

We strive to keep the whole Torah, but going out of our way to focus on a few aspects - especially ones that have deep meaning to us - causes us to put in much more effort. Many core middos and mitzvos pervade our lives. We can align every action we do to a mitzvah such as loving others. We passively live all these values, but to ACTIVELY live a few - to constantly check that our actions match, to ask how we can do better - that yields tremendous growth.

What do you value most? What middos are you working on, or hope to embody? How are you trying to be a better eved Hashem? It could be being more grateful to Hashem (brachos) and other peorle, sensitivity to other’s feelings, love for your family, discipline in your actions, helping people as much as possible - there are 238 positive mitzvos and many positive character traits. Which ones resonate with you most?

You should get excited to find some clarity about how to align your actions and what matters most to you, but that is where the work starts. R’ Tatz says in Living Inspired that we get inspired by something new, as a gift from Hashem to help us in the right direction, but it soon fizzles out. I notice this pattern constantly. Hashem gives us booster rockets, they get you far with a large energy burst. However, to reach the destination - for the growth to be lasting - you have to put in the effort to constantly think and live those values. Take time out each day - in the morning before you get caught up in the day, and also before you go to sleep, to connect with what matters most to you. See how you can follow the values better.

Step back, constantly. What matters most to you? What are you doing that doesn’t fit - how can you fix it? What could you be doing to follow it better?Similar Posts:

• How Is Your Environment Affecting You? Or, Why You May Want To Live In a Cave
• 3 Critical Steps To Pursuing Growth
• 80/20 Your Middos for Faster Growth!
• Overcoming the Final Hurdle: Remembering Your Goals
• Do You Know YOUR Potential? Or, Why You Shouldn’t Try To Be Moshe
• The Power of Passion - Are You Involving Your Heart?

If you can’t play the audio, please click here.Similar Posts:

• Podcast #8: Are Goals Really Important? How Do I Set Them?
• Podcast #5 - Mindmapping… Like a Map of My Mind…?
• Podcast #7: To-Do lists - Love or Hate, Here’s How to Make Them
• Podcast #4: Do Things Differently
• Podcast #6: Oh no, Public Speaking!
• Podcast #3: Stress - Why It’s SO Bad and How to Prevent It

The phrase “but we have always done it that way!” truly maddens me. It basically means “I’m too lazy to think about it.” I ask “why?” very often. The answer to “why?” always makes a difference. Here are some possibilities that the answer leads you to:

• You don’t need to do this action at all (news)
• Different or additional actions produce better results (learning)
• You can do the same action better once you understand the reason (davening, working)

Taking action without knowing why is poor planning. It can be a waste of energy (news), it could be done much better (learning), or you can be going in the wrong direction (work).

Why do you read the news? If it’s to be “informed”, you may want to question if that is worth your time and the probability of inappropriate material. If something meaningful happens, you will hear about it. If you feel you must, you can look at just major headlines and get 80% of the real news. The media business exists to sell itself, so there is no surprise that there is little or no meaningful substance.

If you want to relax and be entertained, then perhaps there are less violent - and more relaxing ways - than hearing about murder, explosion, and anti-Semitism.

Why are you learning a sefer - what are you trying to accomplish? For a mussar sefer, you may want to know how to improve your emunah, or how to combat the yetzer harah. Write down your questions. Focus on them as you learn. When you actually focus on what you are trying to learn, it has a much deeper impact. It makes you curious. It makes the learning personal and relevant.

Why do you daven? If it’s to increase your relationship with Hashem, then recognize you are having a conversation and talking to Hashem. If it’s “to judge oneself / to clarify for oneself” then pay particular attention to the hashkafic implications of the words in davening. You don’t need to go very far - it’s quite explicit.

Why do you work? As Jews, we understand that we don’t MAKE money. Hashem determined how much we will earn at the beginning of the year, and if Hashem doesn’t want us to make more money - we won’t.

• One approach is that it’s a test - an opportunity to test your character. Rambam says that teshuvah isn’t complete until you are put into the same situation again and act correctly. The thoughts aren’t enough, it has to be actualized. You may think you are honest, but it isn’t “real” until you are put in a tempting situation and overcome it. With this firmly in mind (not easy), you will be unfailingly honest in business. Trying to cheat or be dishonest to make more money won’t accomplish anything. In Garden of Emunah, there is a story of a poor person who hoped that he would get some money in the mail for Yom Tov. When he saw the mailman, he eyed an envelope that looked like it had money and grabbed it from him. The mailman called for the police, who arrested the poor person. It turned out that the letter was actually addressed to him! If he would have just waited patiently, he would have gotten what was rightfully his without the struggle of dealing with the police. Work is continuous test of emunah - to do your work in a Torah-approved fashion and avoid any temptation for dishonesty.

• Another approach is that work is an outlet for chesed. When the Chofetz Chaim visited an inn, he was served very kindly and nicely by the owner. When they left, the Chofetz Chaim told his travelling companion “the owner was a real baal chesed - look at how well we were treated!”

His companion said - “But he got paid for it! Why are you calling him a baal chesed?”

The Chofetz Chaim replied, “You can see by the way he acted that he wasn’t doing it for the money. The money is only so that he can keep running the inn.” (To help keep this website running, please consider donating.)

In this approach, focus on how you can help people when you work. Your boss, co-workers, employees, customers, clients - be kind, be helpful, be cheerful - don’t merely do your job with a blank face. Chesed is even better than tzedaka - you can even do it for rich people, and you can even do it while being paid!

•  A third approach is that work is to prevent people from using their time to sin. If you would use your time appropriately - learning, chesed, working on your middos - then you wouldn’t need to work at all.

Ask “Why?“! Generally, people do everything just because that’s the way everyone else does it or the way it has always been done. Question everything you do. Should I be doing this at all? Should I be doing something else? Can I be doing it better? Don’t just blindly act, think!Similar Posts:

• The power of asking "What’s the next action?"!
• What Does It Mean to Grow? How Do I Grow?
• Why Your Rosh Hashanah Kabbalos Haven’t Worked (And How to Fix Them)
• Do You Know YOUR Potential? Or, Why You Shouldn’t Try To Be Moshe
• Your Thoughts: Why You Aren’t Happy (And How to Fix It)
• Truthful Optimism

Often, your views are self-fulfilling, especially if they refer to something under your control - “whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are probably right.”

If you think pessimistically, you won’t fully commit yourself. For example, if you have a job interview, your doubt will impact the way you stand, sit, and talk - however slightly. If you think that you won’t be able to learn this piece of gemara, you will stop short and just give up. Why would you commit yourself if you don’t expect it to help? This often causes the pessimistic view to be self-fulfilling. If you expect something bad to happen, you can always find something to be annoyed about.

On the other hand, thinking optimistically motivates you to put in more effort to get the result you are aiming for. If you are working on anger, but are having a difficult time, then optimism will get you to keep trying. A pessimist will say “this will never work!” and just give up. Optimism also makes you happier - there are no future horrors to dwell on. Your immune system works better, so you are healthier. You will be nicer to others, so they are nicer to you. The gemara tells us: ”I toiled, but didn’t find - don’t believe him” - in learning, if someone claims to have put in the work but didn’t understand what he learned, we don’t believe that he actually did the work. You only stop doing the work when you give up hope.

The clear downside of pessimism is demotivation - you don’t feel that taking action will help. You also get to feel depressed about it now, rather than if something bad happens.

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
– Mark Twain

However, optimism also has a danger. You may be so hopeful that you ignore reality. Last Wednesday, the keyboard on my laptop started acting oddly - putting in extra weird characters, most of the time. I don’t have any other computer. Sunday morning  the keyboard wouldn’t type normally at all. Even with a regular keyboard plugged in, it wouldn’t work. I was feeling rather distraught - I use my laptop for gemara shiur every morning, for running this website, as well as most other things I do. To not have a working computer is tremendously frustrating to me. I could see my emails, but I couldn’t write back. I noticed that I was becoming depressed. I realized that I could tell myself that it will be fixed quickly, or the next time I try the problem will go away - I could choose to be unfailingly optimistic. But I just couldn’t believe that would be true- I would be lying to myself.
 

That sparked my new (partial) understanding of optimism: optimism isn’t out there - it’s inside you. 

“Whenever you think the problem is out there, that thought is the problem.” Life isn’t about what goes on out there. Life is about how you view it, and what you do about it. The 4th perek of Pirkei Avos defines a rich, wise, strong, honored person - they are all rooted in yourself, not in comparison to someone else (e.g. a rich person is someone that rejoices with his lot, not “the richest man in town”). So instead of expecting the good “out there”, focus on the good in yourself. Don’t think “It will work out” but rather “I can handle it. This won’t overwhelm me. I can do something about it.” Instead of saying “Great things will happen to me today” say “I will do great things today!” While great things MAY happen to you, you have direct control over yourself - you can cause it to happen. Instead of ignoring reality, you are choosing how you will act.

Extreme pessimism has an attitude of “it’s horrible, there’s nothing I can do about it. No matter what I do or how hard I try, it just won’t work.”

Optimism is about empowerment. It says “I can deal with it. I can change it, or learn to live with it. If I need help, I can contiune davening for it. Hashem doesn’t send me challenges I can’t handle!” (R’ Tauber says that a need indicates that you need to daven. As long as you have that need, you must continue to daven.)

Instead of focusing on how much time I may not be able to use my computer, I decided to focus on what I could do instead, such as reading more. Instead of focusing on the annoyance and possible frustration about getting the keyboard fixed, I focused on my ability to remain calm and make the most of my time. I know at least one good thing came from it - I have a better understanding of optimism!

Be unfailingly optimistic - expect the best from YOURSELF, in all situations!Similar Posts:

• Why Band-Aid Your Problems? Stitch Them!
• Finding More Time, Part 4: Optimizing
• Why Your Rosh Hashanah Kabbalos Haven’t Worked (And How to Fix Them)
• Your Thoughts: Why You Aren’t Happy (And How to Fix It)
• What Does It Mean to Grow? How Do I Grow?
• How To Work On Your Character Traits

This constant starvation/gorge cycle is hardly the way you are supposed to live. Studies show that this sort of yo-yo dieting is bad for your heart.

This diet paradigm is flawed. Like many personal development gimmicks, it tries to force change from the outside in. The results are superficial and don’t last. It relies on discipline for the entire time, without modifying any of the underlying beliefs around eating. Deeply rooted, meaningful, lasting change doesn’t happen from something as superficial as “having discipline” to not eat that piece of cake - for a few months. Instead of looking at how to diet, let us look at the relationship with food. Interestingly, I started eating a whole foods-vegan diet to increase my energy, not to lose weight, which is the source of this line of thinking. I drastically increased my energy level - and also lost 35lbs! It is pretty straightforward, actually.

So why do you eat - are you living to eat, or are you eating to live?

The general world view is that you live to eat. You buy delicious foods and you want to eat as much as you can enjoy. But as Jews, that answer is very lacking - we eat to maintain our bodies, to that we can better serve Hashem by following the Torah. That doesn’t mean we should be ascetic, only eat enough dry bread to survive on. We make brachos in appreciation of the food that Hashem gives us. We are told to enjoy food on Shabbos and Yom Tov. Enjoy your meals and dessert on Shabbos - I have 72% cocoa chocolate bars (this is significantly healthier than the normal 20% cocoa chocolate bars). During the week, I enjoy delicious fruit for breakfast each morning, and I flavor all my food so that I enjoy it. For people that enjoy spicy-hot food, they have even more options. You can enjoy food - but keep in mind its ultimate purpose. Form follows function: if food is to keep you alive and energetic, then take healthy food and make it tasty. If nutrition is only an afterthought, then you take tasty food and consider nutrition as an afterthought.

I think that most discipline issues regarding food really come from a doubt. Is this cup of soda REALLY bad for me? Is it REALLY terrible to have a piece of cake? (Take a look at: You Only Need Discipline When You Have A Choice)

Let’s look at weight: if you are 20 lbs over weight, go to the kosher gym or store, pick up 20 lbs, and walk around with it. Feel how heavy it is. Would you like to walk around with that for the entire day? Does it make living life easier? That is what you are currently doing!

If you eat until you are stuffed, and then feel that you just want to go to sleep, or eat something sugary and have an energy crash, your food has just interfered with your life, instead of helping it. Do you even notice when you crash? I don’t think most people are conscious enough of their physical energy to really notice it, especially in knowledge work. Maybe you don’t even see the connection between your body and your mind. But your body - and diet - make a huge difference on your motivation and energy your brain has available. If your body is slow and sluggish, then YOU feel slow and sluggish.

What does eating healthier actually mean? The news tells you about which supplement or fruit or vegetable is really great for you. All the fad diets… the low fat or low carb foods. It is really easy to be confused!

Simply, eating healthy means eating things that nourishes your body. Any food that has been altered to reduce the nourishment is for people that “live to eat”. The mainstream concept of diet largely ignores WHAT you are eating, instead focusing on how much. Eating less non-nutritious may help you lose weight, but won’t make you healthy! All healthy food is good for you, contributing many vitamins and minerals, not just “not bad”.

Nourishing for the body means it must be natural and unprocessed - leaving the nutrition, hydration, and fiber intact. Fruits, vegetables, greens, whole grains (whole wheat, brown rice, kasha, millet, quinoa, etc), legumes, raw nuts and seeds all meet these criteria.

•          If it isn’t natural, such as chemicals, then your body can’t handle them well.
•          Processing generally extracts parts such as sugar or corn syrup - leaving you with a concentrate of calories lacking nutrients. Or, processing removes the bran on wheat, rice, or sesame seeds (for techina) - taking away most of the fiber, protein, vitamins, or calcium.
•          Your body is about 70% water, so your food should help maintain that water. Fruits and veggies are 85%+ water.
•          Fiber helps the body flush out waste from the food and body maintenance. If your bowel movements are painful or hard, you need more fiber.

Natural sweeteners include honey, real maple syrup, stevia extract, agave nectar, date honey…

The typical unhealthy foods are processed or unnatural, most notably white flour, white sugar, oils, and chemicals. Those basic ingredients make up nearly all of the standard american diet - with the appropriate acronym of SAD. That includes white bread, every cereal, soft-drink, splenda (they add three chlorine atoms to a sugar molecule), and even soy.

You can ignore the nutrition facts and just look at the ingredients list: are they whole, natural foods? Avocados may have more calories than an energy bar, but the body knows how to handle an avocado.

Wait - you haven’t mentioned milk, cheese, eggs, fish, chicken, and meat! Unfortunately, no animal products have fiber in them, most are fatty, - and they are HEAVILY filled with chemicals. The animals are fed antibiotics and growth hormone - and then fed to you. A diet heavy in animal products is linked to heart problems and other diseases.

But don’t I need calcium? Yes - but not from milk! Milk is known to cause allergies & ear infections (the body generally stops producing lactase at age 2, but is never suited to process casein, a heavy molecule that contains the calcium in milk.)
Calcium is one of the major food myths in America. Looking at the facts: American women consume tremendous amounts of calcium, but their rates of osteoporosis are among the highest in the world. Chinese people consume half as much calcium (mostly from plant sources) and don’t even have a word for osteoporosis. A Harvard Nurses’ Study of over 77,000 women found that two or more glasses of milk per day gave you a higher risk of broken hips and arms than drinking one glass or less per day.
Greens, sesame, and nuts are all good sources of calcium. Whole sesame techina has more calcium per volume than milk does.

What about protein? Another American food myth - Americans get too MUCH protein - which also leads to osteoporosis. The Journal of Nutrition reported that doubling how much protein you eat causes your calcium loss to double. You don’t even need animal products for protein - the old food pyramid actually listed legumes as “poor man’s meat”. Most whole grains (about 10% protein by volume), greens, and nuts also have abundant protein.

So why is this kind of junk food so prevalent? Convenience and taste. It’s just easier, cheaper, and better tasting. Chemicals, taking off the bran, adding lots of salt, and hydrogenating fats increase shelf life. Frying in oil and carcinogenic microwaving is faster. Salad dressings contain sugar or corn syrup rather than a healthier sweetener, and canola oils rather than olive oil because it is cheaper. Sugar and fats just make things taste better.

Stop living to eat. Why are you eating? To live! For energy! So choose something nutritious!Similar Posts:

• Review: The Raw Food Detox Diet
• Eat slowly - for better enjoyment and digestion
• Have a salad with your meal
• Don’t take a nap right after eating
• Choose whole grains
• Review: Supersize Me (DVD/VHS)

Great, so you are choosing to be happy now. But how? Well, I could tell you to access a positive state - recall a time that you were very happy, and fully experience that moment. Or many other techniques perfected in the NLP toolkit. And it would work. You would be happy.

But that’s cheap. It’s temporary and only skin deep.

Instead, let’s look at the present moment and see what we can truly be happy about. Thinking appreciatively or gratefully for what you have is true happiness - it’s Rabbi Pliskin’s first “Happiness Principle” in his great book, Conversations With Yourself. 

When you get something new, or someone gives you something unexpected, it isn’t that hard to be grateful - for a few moments. If getting a new gizmo or clothes would make you happy, you can also be happy with the gizmo or clothes that you have now! You can keep appreciating something long after you get it. In the morning brachos, we bless Hashem for being able to walk. That is something that is so expected, it falls off our radar screen and we don’t appreciate it at all. From being able to walk and talk, to having a home, many things become so normal to us that we don’t appreciate them anymore. It is time to sensitize yourself to the myriad of things to be grateful for.

Take a moment and STOP. What can you appreciate? Being able to walk and talk? Having clothes and a place to sleep? An amazing spouse? Adorable children? Great friends? A nice house? A rewarding job? Warm, comfortable, clothes? Food that you like? Some cool electronics? The computer or printer that is enabling you to read this article?

Pirke Avos says: “Who is a rich person? The person that rejoices with his lot.” When you can rejoice with what you have, you will truly be rich. If you can appreciate what you have, you will escape the trap of constantly waiting for something to make you (temporarily) happy.

• When you say brachos before or after food, don’t just mumble the words. Say them clearly. Think about them. Appreciate the food that you are about to eat or just had!
• After you visit the bathroom, realize that the body is amazingly complicated, and thank Hashem that it’s in good working order!
• When paying your bills, think about all the great benefit that you have received.

Don’t plan to do this tomorrow. Tomorrow is just a figment of your imagination. Do it right now. Really stop and look around. It may take (at least) a few moments to really recognize the great things in your life. 

What are you grateful for?Similar Posts:

• Your Thoughts: How To Think Positively
• Lack of Sleep -> Lack of Happy Feelings
• Truthful Optimism
• Don’t Walk Away - Decide NOW!
• Where Your Emotions Come From (And Why That’s Good News)
• 3 Critical Steps To Pursuing Growth