Assertiveness

December 14th, 2007          Email This Post        Print This Post

Assertiveness is sticking up for your principles to other people.
What happens when other people question you, something makes it hard to follow a chosen principle, or you need to tell someone that you don’t like their behavior? Do you clam up or cave in, or are you assertive and stick up for your principles? Some people are so unassertive that they fold at the mere appearance of resistance to their desire.

The two major issues regarding assertiveness is having principles and actually sticking up for them.

Adopting Principles
It is very hard to be assertive, emotionally strong, and unwavering about something that you are unsure about. Have you firmly decided to adopt a certain principle? If you are trying to remove negativity from your life (and surround yourself with positive outlooks/motivation), how committed are you? How can you insist others stop talking negatively when you aren’t sure that removing negativity will help you or is worth the energy? If you are lacking this clarity, assertiveness is impossible. The decision to adopt a certain principle can’t just be that you are interested in trying it. That is doomed to failure since you aren’t committing yourself to it. It must be clear to you that this is the RIGHT decision or at least something you wish to fully experience now.

Sticking up for your principles
There are people with a sense of confidence that has no foundation. They can be very assertive about the most ridiculous of things, or about topics they have no knowledge of. I doubt that many would choose to act with such confidence about ridiculous things. However, you should act with confidence about the principles you choose to adopt. When you choose to adopt a principle that isn’t what those around you believes in, then you will need courage and confidence in yourself to fully live it. For example, when I became vegan (not eating any animal products) to improve my health and energy, I had to put with all sorts of comments and even fielded the silly question “where do you get your protein from” a few times. If someone is just trying “the vegan thing” without really knowing about it, this can be quite intimidating. It requires an inner confidence in your choice and the courage not to care what others (incorrectly) think.

I am not suggesting you should cut yourself off from everyone else and close your mind, and doggedly stick to any adopted principles. Rather, you should keep your mind open to issues or perspectives you haven’t heard of before, but for all common issues, such as the previously mentioned protein for a vegan, decide what it correct and then stick to your decision.

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