To Grow, Ask “Why?”

November 13th, 2008         Email This Post Email This Post       Print This Post Print This Post

Do you know why you daven? Or why you eat? Are they just habits since childhood, or do you actually have a reason that you do them?

The phrase “but we have always done it that way!” truly maddens me. It basically means “I’m too lazy to think about it.” I ask “why?” very often. The answer to “why?” always makes a difference. Here are some possibilities that the answer leads you to:

  • You don’t need to do this action at all (news)
  • Different or additional actions produce better results (learning)
  • You can do the same action better once you understand the reason (davening, working)

Taking action without knowing why is poor planning. It can be a waste of energy (news), it could be done much better (learning), or you can be going in the wrong direction (work).

Why do you read the news? If it’s to be “informed”, you may want to question if that is worth your time and the probability of inappropriate material. If something meaningful happens, you will hear about it. If you feel you must, you can look at just major headlines and get 80% of the real news. The media business exists to sell itself, so there is no surprise that there is little or no meaningful substance.

If you want to relax and be entertained, then perhaps there are less violent - and more relaxing ways - than hearing about murder, explosion, and anti-Semitism.

Why are you learning a sefer - what are you trying to accomplish? For a mussar sefer, you may want to know how to improve your emunah, or how to combat the yetzer harah. Write down your questions. Focus on them as you learn. When you actually focus on what you are trying to learn, it has a much deeper impact. It makes you curious. It makes the learning personal and relevant.

Why do you daven? If it’s to increase your relationship with Hashem, then recognize you are having a conversation and talking to Hashem. If it’s “to judge oneself / to clarify for oneself” then pay particular attention to the hashkafic implications of the words in davening. You don’t need to go very far - it’s quite explicit.

Why do you work? As Jews, we understand that we don’t MAKE money. Hashem determined how much we will earn at the beginning of the year, and if Hashem doesn’t want us to make more money - we won’t.

  • One approach is that it’s a test - an opportunity to test your character. Rambam says that teshuvah isn’t complete until you are put into the same situation again and act correctly. The thoughts aren’t enough, it has to be actualized. You may think you are honest, but it isn’t “real” until you are put in a tempting situation and overcome it. With this firmly in mind (not easy), you will be unfailingly honest in business. Trying to cheat or be dishonest to make more money won’t accomplish anything. In Garden of Emunah, there is a story of a poor person who hoped that he would get some money in the mail for Yom Tov. When he saw the mailman, he eyed an envelope that looked like it had money and grabbed it from him. The mailman called for the police, who arrested the poor person. It turned out that the letter was actually addressed to him! If he would have just waited patiently, he would have gotten what was rightfully his without the struggle of dealing with the police. Work is continuous test of emunah - to do your work in a Torah-approved fashion and avoid any temptation for dishonesty.
  • Another approach is that work is an outlet for chesed. When the Chofetz Chaim visited an inn, he was served very kindly and nicely by the owner. When they left, the Chofetz Chaim told his travelling companion “the owner was a real baal chesed - look at how well we were treated!”

His companion said - “But he got paid for it! Why are you calling him a baal chesed?”

The Chofetz Chaim replied, “You can see by the way he acted that he wasn’t doing it for the money. The money is only so that he can keep running the inn.” (To help keep this website running, please consider donating.)

In this approach, focus on how you can help people when you work. Your boss, co-workers, employees, customers, clients - be kind, be helpful, be cheerful - don’t merely do your job with a blank face. Chesed is even better than tzedaka - you can even do it for rich people, and you can even do it while being paid!

  •  A third approach is that work is to prevent people from using their time to sin. If you would use your time appropriately - learning, chesed, working on your middos - then you wouldn’t need to work at all.

Ask “Why?“! Generally, people do everything just because that’s the way everyone else does it or the way it has always been done. Question everything you do. Should I be doing this at all? Should I be doing something else? Can I be doing it better? Don’t just blindly act, think!

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Posted in Growth, Introspection, Philisophy, Principles, core | Rate post on JBlog!