No video? View the video about releasing here.

Summary of the questions:
Could you allow yourself to experience the current emotion?
Could you let it go? (If not, could you hold on to it?)
Would you let it go?
When?
Similar Posts:

None Found

No video? View the video about failure here.

Similar Posts:

None Found

However, it just doesn’t work. If you have a short burst of energy and make loads of decisions and plan out how you want things to be… you rarely carry through on any of them. In fact, there is an inverse proportion: the more things you focus on, the less you accomplish.

The question to answer is – what are you currently working on?

You may have a large list of things to work on – improving your davening, your learning, diet, productivity, spending time with your family, etc. Notice how you have tried to work on them all, and made little (if any) improvement – because you were focusing on them all! 

Unfortunately, you just can’t focus on too many things at once. We tend to get sucked into the way things are and changing them takes time – but worse, it takes attention. When you try to move your attention to 5 new things… it just doesn’t work – tafasta merubah lo tafasta – if you grab too much, you end up with nothing.

So choose the focus that would make the biggest difference or is the most pressing – and throw yourself into it.

Correct, you need to do this horrible thing that signifies some level of maturity – saying yes to one thing, to the exclusion of others. But that’s better than saying no to everything!

Please share your reaction – and your current focus, if you would like to share – in the forums. I would love to hear from you!
Similar Posts:

None Found

• Podcast #5 – Mindmapping… Like a Map of My Mind…?
• Podcast #4: Do Things Differently
• Podcast #8: Are Goals Really Important? How Do I Set Them?
• Podcast #7: To-Do lists – Love or Hate, Here’s How to Make Them
• Podcast #3: Stress – Why It’s SO Bad and How to Prevent It
• Podcast #9: Outcome Focus

Each channel of communication has its own methods for limiting the interruptions:

Email: Close outlook or whatever you use to check your mail. Email is NOT instant messenger – you aren’t expected to respond instantly! Just to make sure everyone else knows, set up an auto-responder that says “In an effort to help you better, I check my email twice a day at 12pm and 4pm. If something is urgent (and please make sure it really is!), please call my cell phone at …”.
If you are thinking “oh no, my boss won’t go for that” – just TRY it. I have heard from people who thought their boss would yell at them, but instead the boss forwarded the message to everyone in the company and said “I wish you all would do this – that’s proper time management!’

Phone: treat your phone the same as email. Let it go straight to voicemail with a message like: “In an effort to help you better, I check my voicemail twice a day at 12pm and 4pm. Please leave your email address so I can respond to you faster. If something is urgent (and please make sure it really is!), please call my cell phone at …”.
If you have a secretary, or are willing to pay for PhoneTag, have all your voicemails transcribed and emailed/put into your inbox like everything else. This gives you one less box to check and saves you the time and effort of listening and taking notes. The simpler, the better.

Open cubicle / office: If you have your own office, close your door  – with a do not disturb sign – when you are busy.
If someone comes to your office or cubicle, stand up right away. In an office, this stops them from sitting down and getting comfortable. It also gives the (correct) impression that you aren’t going to sit around and chit-chat. You can even walk them out.
If a visitor comes over – especially if they ask if you are busy or if you have a minute – answer them properly! “Sorry, I am in the middle of something right now. How can I help you?” If they can’t seem to get the words out, tell them to send you an email. Don’t let them chit chat, get them to tell you what they want. The phrase “Sorry, I have to get back to work” can do wonders.
If you are working in a cubicle, wearing ear plugs or headphones will help send the message that you are busy.

Instant messenger: If you can, close it. If you need it open, set yourself to “away” or “do not disturb”. Treat it like someone coming to your cubicle/office – get the interaction over with as quickly as possible.

Cell phone: This should only be receiving emergency calls. If calls come in that aren’t, you can politely ask them to only call you on your cell for emergencies. Again, treat it like a visitor.

Lastly, handle everything that comes up AFTER you finish the work in front of you! Write it down so you don’t have to worry about forgetting it.
Similar Posts:

• Do you run your life, or does it run you?
• Finding More Time, Part 4: Optimizing
• Don’t re-act, pre-act!
• Being on time
• Sleep with an open window
• To Grow, Ask “Why?”

• Don’t re-act, pre-act!
• Assertiveness
• Using Your Job to Help People!
• Stick With "Stuck Tasks" to Avoid Even More Frustration!
• Don’t Walk Away – Decide NOW!
• How to use visualizations to remember anything

The two major issues regarding assertiveness is having principles and actually sticking up for them.

Adopting Principles
It is very hard to be assertive, emotionally strong, and unwavering about something that you are unsure about. Have you firmly decided to adopt a certain principle? If you are trying to remove negativity from your life (and surround yourself with positive outlooks/motivation), how committed are you? How can you insist others stop talking negatively when you aren’t sure that removing negativity will help you or is worth the energy? If you are lacking this clarity, assertiveness is impossible. The decision to adopt a certain principle can’t just be that you are interested in trying it. That is doomed to failure since you aren’t committing yourself to it. It must be clear to you that this is the RIGHT decision or at least something you wish to fully experience now.

Sticking up for your principles
There are people with a sense of confidence that has no foundation. They can be very assertive about the most ridiculous of things, or about topics they have no knowledge of. I doubt that many would choose to act with such confidence about ridiculous things. However, you should act with confidence about the principles you choose to adopt. When you choose to adopt a principle that isn’t what those around you believes in, then you will need courage and confidence in yourself to fully live it. For example, when I became vegan (not eating any animal products) to improve my health and energy, I had to put with all sorts of comments and even fielded the silly question “where do you get your protein from” a few times. If someone is just trying “the vegan thing” without really knowing about it, this can be quite intimidating. It requires an inner confidence in your choice and the courage not to care what others (incorrectly) think.

I am not suggesting you should cut yourself off from everyone else and close your mind, and doggedly stick to any adopted principles. Rather, you should keep your mind open to issues or perspectives you haven’t heard of before, but for all common issues, such as the previously mentioned protein for a vegan, decide what it correct and then stick to your decision.
Similar Posts:

• How To Make a Confident Decision
• Don’t Walk Away – Decide NOW!
• Procrastination Hack: 10 Second Delay
• Sleep on it – Every Night!
• Why Your Rosh Hashanah Kabbalos Haven’t Worked (And How to Fix Them)
• Dieting 101 – Why Dieting Is Broken and What to Do About It