The phrase “but we have always done it that way!” truly maddens me. It basically means “I’m too lazy to think about it.” I ask “why?” very often. The answer to “why?” always makes a difference. Here are some possibilities that the answer leads you to:

• You don’t need to do this action at all (news)
• Different or additional actions produce better results (learning)
• You can do the same action better once you understand the reason (davening, working)

Taking action without knowing why is poor planning. It can be a waste of energy (news), it could be done much better (learning), or you can be going in the wrong direction (work).

Why do you read the news? If it’s to be “informed”, you may want to question if that is worth your time and the probability of inappropriate material. If something meaningful happens, you will hear about it. If you feel you must, you can look at just major headlines and get 80% of the real news. The media business exists to sell itself, so there is no surprise that there is little or no meaningful substance.

If you want to relax and be entertained, then perhaps there are less violent – and more relaxing ways – than hearing about murder, explosion, and anti-Semitism.

Why are you learning a sefer – what are you trying to accomplish? For a mussar sefer, you may want to know how to improve your emunah, or how to combat the yetzer harah. Write down your questions. Focus on them as you learn. When you actually focus on what you are trying to learn, it has a much deeper impact. It makes you curious. It makes the learning personal and relevant.

Why do you daven? If it’s to increase your relationship with Hashem, then recognize you are having a conversation and talking to Hashem. If it’s “to judge oneself / to clarify for oneself” then pay particular attention to the hashkafic implications of the words in davening. You don’t need to go very far – it’s quite explicit.

Why do you work? As Jews, we understand that we don’t MAKE money. Hashem determined how much we will earn at the beginning of the year, and if Hashem doesn’t want us to make more money – we won’t.

• One approach is that it’s a test – an opportunity to test your character. Rambam says that teshuvah isn’t complete until you are put into the same situation again and act correctly. The thoughts aren’t enough, it has to be actualized. You may think you are honest, but it isn’t “real” until you are put in a tempting situation and overcome it. With this firmly in mind (not easy), you will be unfailingly honest in business. Trying to cheat or be dishonest to make more money won’t accomplish anything. In Garden of Emunah, there is a story of a poor person who hoped that he would get some money in the mail for Yom Tov. When he saw the mailman, he eyed an envelope that looked like it had money and grabbed it from him. The mailman called for the police, who arrested the poor person. It turned out that the letter was actually addressed to him! If he would have just waited patiently, he would have gotten what was rightfully his without the struggle of dealing with the police. Work is continuous test of emunah – to do your work in a Torah-approved fashion and avoid any temptation for dishonesty.

• Another approach is that work is an outlet for chesed. When the Chofetz Chaim visited an inn, he was served very kindly and nicely by the owner. When they left, the Chofetz Chaim told his travelling companion “the owner was a real baal chesed – look at how well we were treated!”

His companion said – “But he got paid for it! Why are you calling him a baal chesed?”

The Chofetz Chaim replied, “You can see by the way he acted that he wasn’t doing it for the money. The money is only so that he can keep running the inn.” (To help keep this website running, please consider donating.)

In this approach, focus on how you can help people when you work. Your boss, co-workers, employees, customers, clients – be kind, be helpful, be cheerful – don’t merely do your job with a blank face. Chesed is even better than tzedaka – you can even do it for rich people, and you can even do it while being paid!

•  A third approach is that work is to prevent people from using their time to sin. If you would use your time appropriately – learning, chesed, working on your middos – then you wouldn’t need to work at all.

Ask “Why?“! Generally, people do everything just because that’s the way everyone else does it or the way it has always been done. Question everything you do. Should I be doing this at all? Should I be doing something else? Can I be doing it better? Don’t just blindly act, think!
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The 80/20 rule, also known as the Pareto principle helps us greatly. The 80/20 rule says that 80% of the results come from 20% of the time or effort you put in. Things aren’t linear – each hour of work doesn’t produce the same amount of results – just compare answering email to having a sales meeting with a potential client. There are 193,071 books about productivity on Amazon, but read more than a few and they would all start to say basically the same thing. In corporations, 80% of the revenue often comes from 20% of the clients and 20% of the products. If you focus on that 20%, you can achieve tremendous results in much less time.

I am not proposing leaving the job half done, but to make the qualitative leap for a new trait or middah. Reading and applying merely three books on productivity (.00001% of all productivity books on Amazon) would make a tremendous improvement. While being joyous can be the work of a lifetime, the first 20% of the time and effort will help you reach a threshold that makes a tremendous difference in your life.  An “extreme” sense of joy is to remain joyous even when nothing is going your way. It will take you a lot of time and effort. However, consider if you would be joyous when nothing is wrong (most of the time) or when things are only a little wrong (the relatively minor stresses that come up). That would make a major impact on your life, but isn’t nearly as hard to reach. That smaller amount of effort gives you the majority of the benefits.

Make a list of the traits and middos you would like to integrate into your character. How little would you have to do for it to make a major difference in your life?
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But you generally resist it. It is hardly an enjoyable experience.

As much as you put in the effort, you may wish you weren’t there. That’s hardly conducive to doing your best! Just check most classrooms and work environments. America is spending more money than ever on education but getting worse results than before. It isn’t just about technical expertise of the teacher or the material.

What if you are excited about something? What happens when you jump into a project that looks interesting? Start learning a sugya or a book because it sparked your fancy or is immediately applicable?

It hardly seems like work and happens rather quickly. Your energy level jumps through the roof. You want to keep putting in time and effort. If you care about something, you will use much more of your resources willingly- both physical and mental. You put in more energy than you are required to. You will think about it even when you don’t need to. That’s what getting your heart involved does. There is no comparison between someone that enjoys what he is doing and someone who is just doing it because he has to.

Certain things energize us. We don’t have a fixed amount of energy for each day – some things that are objectively “work” can be incredibly stimulating and enjoyable. We may be tired but will perk up and put lots of effort into them.

The power of being interested, passionate, or simply caring is amazing. I notice a HUGE difference between something that I feel strongly about or find very worthwhile compared to just something on my to-do list. Passion pours on the energy and helps you overcome procrastination, lack of energy, and doubts. Organizations prefer volunteers rather than paid workers because you can only hire someone’s body. You can’t hire their heart and their mind, which is what a person volunteers.

Because of this idea, the Netziv said to learn what interests you. R’ Hutner says that isn’t just a nice idea, but that this is the way to learn. When we follow what we feel attracted to – such as which sefer in tanach to learn or what type of job – we are happier, put in more time and more effort. We improve our skill, and that makes it easier and more satisfying. It starts a tremendous upward spiral!

What percentage of people in school, work, or learning do you see enjoying themselves?

When R’ Yaakov was asked how he pushed himself to learn so much, he responded: “If you knew how much pleasure I got from learning, you wouldn’t be asking that question.” He clearly put his heart into his learning, and didn’t just regard it as “something he had to do.”

Don’t let your learning or growth be routine. Find what you feel strongly about and throw yourself into it. Your learning, your middos, anything! To really give something all your efforts, you have to be emotionally invested in it. You have to care. You may be learning gemara, but feel you should be focusing on Rashi. So focus on Rashi! You don’t need to leave the group – just have your own reasons for putting in more energy.

How do you relate to your schedule now: “Another boring day” or “Yey! Fun, interesting things!”? What do you care about?
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Compare to today, when I finished a (short) 150pg book in about an hour – and I call that slow. That was non-fiction book number 48 in the past 12 months, outside of the school curriculum.

I don’t intend to brag, but to highlight the massive difference between what I did in formal schooling and what I have stated to do on my own. In school, I would learn while someone was trying to spoon-feed me. Now, I hungrily devour books and other material. I have completely changed the way I learn.

The learning transformation began with reading a book on memory 2.5 years ago (Your Memory… by Kenneth L. Higbee.) By now, I have read 10 books on learning, specifically covering: memory, using the right side of your brain, and reading better. I intuitively know if I will remember new material, or if I should use one of the many tools in my toolbox to make it stick.

The Photoreading system for books, which I started using a few weeks ago, is particularly amazing. When Photoreading, I have intense concentration, read very quickly, and have phenomenal recall of the material. But what is really amazing is how those same principals for reading books flow into everything else I learn – the classes, audio recording, and Talmud. Everything just becomes easier, more fun, and more meaningful.

Learning isn’t hard or boring. We have just been taught to learn incorrectly!

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Like everyone else, you probably answered yes. Look at that question again: “…cause stress”- If outside events cause stress, that means you don’t have control. Do you want to be at the mercy of outside events?

You don’t have to! You may think if everyone was nice to you, or things went your way, you would be happy. But something based externally is fragile. If something goes wrong, you won’t be happy. Other people can’t give you true, lasting happiness. You may think that if you were rich, you wouldn’t have to worry about money. However, rich people get to worry about theft, natural disasters, the sinking economy, and people being nice only because of their money. The money won’t give you peace of mind. True happiness and peace of mind come from within. If your feelings rely on something external, then your feeling are beyond your control. Do you like not having control? Has it been working out well so far?

Here’s the key: the external events or situations don’t matter. Everything that happens is just a fact. Something happened. The way you view the situation determines how you feel. You can control how you view it. Being worry-free is about not worrying, not about anything external.

Your thoughts determine how you feel and how you act. Your past thoughts don’t need to hold you back. You can choose what to think NOW. You can direct your thoughts to a more empowered way of thinking. The more control you realize you have, the more control you will have.

This post is part of a 5 post series about how your thoughts affect your world. View: one, two, three, four, five.
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When a person is  aware that one of the goals in life is to grow, they can become much more aware/sensitive/conscious of the ongoing tests – a choice to take the higher road or stick it out as is.  When you are aware that you are intent on growing, take the better, and always harder, path. You will soon see how often throughout the day this lesson is relevant, if you are sensitive to it.
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For someone who wants to DO things in life, this is an excellent way to practice doing (besides all the health benefits!)- you get your whole body involved, not just some muscle groups. Besides calisthenics being more of a whole-body workout (cardio at higher intensities, balance, and using muscles all over to counter-balance or hold the current exercise), it just requires that you get up and move. The next time you decide you want to do something, you will already be used to getting up and moving for it.
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